Abby Sunderland and Jessica Watson - what mothers think...

by Sail-World Cruising on 9 Mar 2010 One of the chief aspects that differs the two 16-year-old solo sailors currently trying to circumnavigate the world from other adventure sailors is the controversy that follows them.

In one corner we have the liberals, who applaud encouraging their spirit, in the other corner the protectors, who think it's too dangerous, they're too young and should be in school.

But what do mothers think?

First, an interview that Marianne Sunderland, mother of Abby, had with Momlogic, revealing her dilemma, and explaining her attitude; then from the mother of a 14-year-old wondering how she would react if HER daughter wanted to go:

ML: How is Abby doing?

Marianne: She's got a steep learning curve. She's got an incredible support team. They are good with her. They know she is tired, they know she is young, and they keep encouraging her.

ML: As a mom, how do you keep yourself from going sick with worry?

Marianne: Sometimes I wake up during the night and I think about what could happen and think of her out there alone on the ocean. I start to get nervous. But I believe that God controls the wind and the waves and whatever comes to her.

I hated watching Zac be uncomfortable and go through struggles, but he learned from those and was able to use the skills he gained later when he really hit bad weather or any sort of trouble.

I keep telling Abby she's encountering any glitches or problems for a reason, and it prepares her for the next thing. I said, 'When weather is rough, or you've got an autopilot glitch later on, you are going to know this boat like the back of your hand.'

ML: Do you think people are more critical of Abby sailing solo than they were of Zac, simply because she's a girl?

Marianne: I think that for some, there is a bit of a gender bias. Some people are more critical because she is a girl. And her route is more dangerous. But Zac got a lot of flak, too. I don't really see that as a major issue.

ML: What would you say to other moms who are maybe too worried or nervous to let their kids follow their dreams?

Marianne: Look at your own life. Think about your kid in the future when they are in their late 30s or early 40s and have followed someone else's plan their entire time on the planet. They went to school, got a degree, got married, got a house. Maybe they're successful, but they're not really fulfilled. In the long run, they are going to be their own person. I think you have to remember that.

Believe me, I understand protectiveness. When Abby was here, we didn't let her walk her dogs by herself! So why are we letting her go around the world by herself when we wouldn't even let her go around the block by herself? She's not stopping anywhere!

I also think every kid is different, and every parent is different. Some are more prone to trouble than others. But Abby is a good kid, and I trust her completely.

I understand that need to protect, but you've got to let go at a certain point.

But of all the other mothers in the world who have written for and against Abby Sunderland and Jessica Watson, the following excerpt from a mother's pondering about her 14-year-old sailor daughter, Maia, says it all:

As a mother, the idea of my own daughter setting off on a (long) sail across water that can be, well, nasty, kind of scares the heck out of me. I remember how invincible I felt at 17. I also recall how that feeling of supreme smartness and immortality caused me to make some really bad decisions in the pursuit of stuff that seemed like a good idea at the time.

I feel the same way about Abby Sunderland and Jessica Watson striving to be the youngest women to sail around the world. There is part of me that cheers for them—they both seem to be level headed, capable girls. And Maia and I both LOVE one of Jessica's reasons for sailing around the world:

'For almost 6 years my family lived on our motor boat traveling and based at different marinas on the east coast of Australia. When you live on the water, it's sort of like an unwritten law that when another boat is pulling in, you stop to give a hand and take their lines.'

'But being a 'little girl' meant that more often than not, my offer of help would be completely ignored, while the line was passed to the fully grown man next to me.'

'I found this incredibly frustrating as I knew that I was just as capable of handling the lines as anyone else. I hated being judged by my appearance and other people's expectations of what a 'little girl' was capable of.'

'I hope that part of what I'm doing out here is proving that we shouldn't judge by appearance and our own expectations. I want the world to know exactly what 'little girls' and young people are actually capable of!'

But 16 is really young and the world is really big. I also wonder how far we can push these records down.

Clearly one country decided 14 was too young, and the Dutch courts barred 14-year-old Laura Dekker from her plan to compete for the ‘youngest’ title.

I guess I wonder where personal goals and societal pressure collide. We’re so focused on higher, faster, further, younger--that the quest for a title might get in the way of good judgment.

That said, in a world where so many things get in the way of a happy and healthy adolescence, I’ll probably keep cheering for girls who are doing their best and reaching for their dreams. And if Maia decides to reach further than I’m comfortable with, my guess is I’ll bite back my fears and help her get there.
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With Abby Sunderland charging down the Pacific and already level with Santiago, and Jessica Watson into the Indian Ocean passing south of Madagascar and on her homeward leg, both girls are experiencing pretty good conditions and no major problems. Jessica is in the fortunate position of having passed by two of the great south challenging capes, Cape Horn and Cape Agulhas, both in 'reasonable' weather conditions, while Abby still has her biggest challenges to go.

With the rest of the sailing world, Sail-World Cruising is cheering them on.