The sad story of the footballer, the yacht and the helicopter
by Nancy Knudsen on 9 Jun 2010

cold waters of Loch Long - the scene of the incident SW
Sometimes it's just one of those days....
Imagine this: It's early morning and you slip out of bed to peer out the window of your treasured holiday house, which looks over the splendid Loch Long in Argyll in Scotland, and over your lovely yacht, moored at the bottom of the garden.
...but this morning something doesn't look quite right. The yacht is gone!
So, not quite awake yet, but mad as a hornet, you stumble out to your helicopter parked nearby, no time for coffee, and get it started. You're going to find the yacht – did it drift away or was it stolen? Either way it's time for action!
But, and remember you're not quite awake yet, as you begin to scour the waters of the loch, something goes wrong and the helicopter clips the sea. Maybe you set something wrongly, maybe you were distracted. Remember, it's early morning and you haven't had coffee yet.
So the helicopter settles into the loch and sinks. Now you've lost both the helicopter and the yacht, you still haven't had coffee, you're swimming in the middle of a Scottish loch early morning, and no-one knows you're here. Admittedly it's June, so the water could be colder, but you're still not equipped for cold water swimming.
...but the shore is half a mile away, so you set out – then it'll be a long wet walk home.
There is some good news.
First, you make it to dry land, no mean feat in the cold water of Loch Long, so things are looking up.
Secondly, when you get home you find that the thieves who stole your yacht in the first place have been found by the police and arrested.
Lastly, and most importantly, it's time for morning coffee. No helicopter, but plenty of coffee.
This incident was reported by Stewart Campbell of www.mby.com!MBY, and it happened to 46-year-old ex-footballer millionaire Keith Punler, last week. Actually, we've discovered since, the story was more complicated. It was actually Punler's girlfriend who discovered that the yacht had been stolen and she called the police. The Two men, a 20-year-old and a 25-year-old, who were found asleep in the yacht a short distance away, have been arrested in connection with the disappearance of the yacht. The part about the coffee was made up.
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